Haunted Eyes
by Redqueen-01
Summary: "There were so many things he did not understand..." Neo has a question about Zion


Haunted eyes  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em...never will  
  
A/N: This is my first piece of Matrix fanfiction and I'm not really sure about it. I appreciate feedback but if it's critical please tell me why so I can improve rather than just telling me it's crap. Thanks  
  
"Trinity?"  
  
She turned to face him. He was sitting up in their bed, his upper body leaning against the wall. Bleary-eyed and hair still tousled from sleep he looked at her, that confused, uncertain look she knew so well. It was only to be expected, she supposed. Having been unplugged only a few months, most of that time spent drifting in and out of consciousness as his muscles were rebuilt, and then coming to the realisation that he was the last hope for humankind, it was only natural he was unsure of himself in the real world. This was his first visit to Zion, after all.  
  
"Yes, Neo?"  
  
She hadn't realised he was awake. Seated in a chair near the window, viewing the multitude of doors leading to rooms exactly like theirs, to people exactly like them. Free. Usually Trinity didn't allow herself to be so sentimental, so wrapped up in the idea of freedom like so many people in the real world. People like Tank, who believed so wholly in the idea of Zion, the last human city. "If the war was over tomorrow, Zion's where the party would be", as Tank so loved to say. Maybe she would take Neo to Zion's famous dance-ritual tonight, to see the last remains of humanity in the wild abandon they loved so much. Zion was very earthy, rich oranges and yellows, reflected fire on the cavern walls. So different from unsettling green tint of the Matrix, and from the metallic blue hues of the Neb. Warm earth as opposed to metal and machinery. That was what Zion was for Trinity, warmth. Warmth to counteract the deathly cold, to contrast the harsh life of a soldier. Even soldiers need an escape now and then.  
  
"The Free-borns."  
  
This attracted Trinity's attention, it wasn't exactly what she had expected to hear. Neo looked down at the worn blanket covering the lower half of his body, picking absently at a loose thread. He seemed unsure of how to phrase his question. He had never been much of a talker. But the again, neither had Trinity. So she waited.  
  
".they look at me.as if I were a ghost or something"  
  
Trinity understood immediately. Sooner or later you notice the looks, the glances, from the free born of Zion.  
  
"It's not just you, Neo. Right now only the council knows that you are the One. But you are still a soldier"  
  
She stood and slowly walked over to the bed, and sat facing him.  
  
"It's the look in their eyes, I can't quite place it.it's something I've never seen before" He continued.  
  
"It's an interesting mix", Trinity explained; "A little reverence.a little fear"  
  
"Fear?"  
  
"In some ways they fear us". It was hard for Trinity to explain to him the nature of the Children of Zion. His confusion was understandable, the only free-borns he had met were Tank and Dozer, who lived a soldiers life, who were comfortable around him. "The Matrix is a foreign thing to them, they have never lived inside it. They don't understand it.Zion is the only world they've ever known".  
  
"But still, why the fear?"  
  
Trinity spoke wistfully; "I asked Tank once about it. He said 'Soldiers have haunted eyes'. The way we live, the things we do.the people we've killed".  
  
The slaughter of innocents had always been an issue with Trinity.it was a problem every soldier experienced at one time or another. Once in a while, every soldier has nightmares of blood, of murdered civilians, of their families weeping. Sometimes she wondered whether it was all worth it. Was it better to die, to be killed, than to live a life enslaved? Did they have the right to make that choice for them? Cypher had felt that way. She alternated from hating him intensely to feeling a vague sense of pity. He wasn't an evil guy, he had just seen too much slaughter, eaten too much goop, missed the security of the Matrix too much. He was selfish, yes.but he wasn't evil. He didn't have enough purpose to keep him going. Trinity had Neo. It was easy to forget once in the security of his arms, easy to choose killing innocents in order to protect him. No-one should have to live in a simulated reality. The feel of Neo's skin, the taste of his kisses, the warmth of his body, made her want to fight for those trapped in the Matrix. She wanted them to experience what is real, to be free.  
  
"Haunted eyes", Neo whispered, as he met her gaze, studying her intently. She knew her own depths held sorrow for every coppertop she'd killed, every family member who'd wept into their pillows at night, every parent who became childless, every child left without a mother or father. Matrix ghosts hidden in soldier's eyes. It was not an uncommon thing, and it was something the free-borns noticed above all things. Now Neo could see it too. She stared back into his eyes, sweet swirls of chocolate. "Big, pretty eyes", Cypher had said. They were beautiful, and at the time, so very innocent. But now there was that hint of pain, of conflict that classified a soldier's eyes. Innocence lost. Not completely, not hardened like her own eyes, but still.changed. Different. He was now a soldier.  
  
She would take him to the dance tonight. He needed to see Zion relaxed, not afraid of the machines or the war or a million other problems that errupted in their lives. At the dance there were no longer distinctions like 'Matrix-born' or 'Child of Zion'. They were simply human.  
  
Neo cocked his head to the side slightly, contemplating, before he spoke again.  
  
"Maybe that's why we wear sunglasses in the Matrix"  
  
She smiled.well.as close to a smile as Trinity would allow. He was half- joking, she could tell. Sunglasses in the Matrix seemed to be an accepted uniformity among soldiers, like black leather. It provided them with a shield, a way to blend in, to become another face in the crowd. And yes, even though technically their senses in the real world had no effect on their RSI, many found the Matrix too bright in contrast to the cold dark ships. So many different reasons, it didn't just boil down to one universal truth. But that was the nature of the real world. There were so many things Neo didn't understand, that couldn't understand after such a short amount of time. So many things she wanted to show him, to tell him, to share with him. Now, however, was not the time. Time is always against us. So she replied simply.  
  
"Maybe" 


End file.
